fully connected…never alone!

2010/04/16

Does Silence=Agreement? by Mindy Bycroft

Filed under: Uncategorized — connectingwomenministries @ 3:06 pm

Do you have someone in your life that you are trying to influence?  Why?  My hope is that my intentions are pure when it comes to why I do what I do in general and why I want to influence people. I pray it is for the right reasons, for Christ’s benefit and not mine.

I have someone in particular that lately has made a bad decision – in my mind anyway.  This decision goes against what I know God says not to do.  However, my friend doesn’t claim to follow Him.  She knows Him (which leads to a lot of my concern in the matter) but at this point and time, is making choices that are blatantly against what we know to be true to what God wants for us and from us.

So, what to do about this?  Honestly, I’m in a good place with her. I’ve know her a really long time and when I met her I knew that this is where she is.  Not only do I like her, I like being with her and have honestly grown to love her dearly.  The more I know her, the more I want her to… well, quite simply I want her to be in heaven someday.  But I don’t know what to do with this?  This ‘thing’ has been the hardest to take in the time I’ve known her.  My concern is that silence=agreement. When you say nothing, the person is left to assume that you agree.  Obviously she knows me very well too and knows where I am coming from so why would she go about life, including me in the planning and process of this ‘bad decision’ and expect me to be happy for her?

I’ll tell you why.  Because she expects me to continue to be the person I claim to be; the friend I claim to be.  I claim to love people and accept them for who they are and where they are.  I claim not to be the judge of her life and her decisions. I claim to love God and love others but in this case, what does that look like?

The most important piece here; she didn’t ask me what I think about it.  She didn’t want to know from me whether she should do this or not.  Who do I think I am that I should expect her to do what I think she should or should not do? That’s where pride comes in; thinking that because she knows that I would be against this thing that it would stop her from doing it! Wow, how arrogant does one have to be to think that!  Sadly, I personally know the answer.  Of course she’s not going to ask me what I think, she already knows what I would say.

I believe at this point in time my focus is showing her the love of Jesus Christ.  And get over myself thinking that I am going to bring God to her.  He’s with her.  He’s doing His thing and I need to do mine. She will decide if/when/how/why she will follow God – not me.   And that means actively seeking what He may want me to do in this situation – or not do.  I need to be a person that my friend will come to when things get hard.  And in the meantime, maybe take a look at my own life and see how what I may need to change. You see, it’s the times in our life that we look around and see what everybody else is doing ‘wrong’ that I believe we need to take a hard look at ourselves.

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